Self-Harming Behaviors: Putting the Pieces Back Together
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Here it goes...
My son, Nolan, deliberately and intentionally engages in self-injurious behavior.
He bites himself...hard. He bangs his head on walls...hard. He scratches and picks at his skin to the extent that bruising or bleeding occur. He inflicts intentional pain to self-soothe. It is a coping mechanism. He has a difficult time putting his feelings into words. His aggressive behaviors are getting more violent with age.
Have you ever tried to glue, tape, put back the pieces of a torn piece of paper? It isn't easy, right? For me, those torn, shredded pieces represent each time I observe Nolan purposely hurting himself. It rips my heart out. I can feel the tear...
I feel torn to pieces.
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PHOTO SHOWS AN EXAMPLE OF NOLAN'S SELF HARMING BEHAVIORS
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There...I said it AND you can see it in the photo. Nolan self-harms.
I have been in denial.
You must know I feel compelled to write this blog entry. It almost feels like an obligation. Why.?..you might ask?? Well, I have been avoiding this topic completely because for me, it has been difficult to admit Nolan has deeper mental health issues.
I feel a sense of denial, guilt, anger, shame,sadness, and despair.
Before I could even have the courage to write this blog entry...before I could even ADMIT to myself that Nolan has deeper issues..I just HAD to look up the definition of self-harm in the dictionary! I felt an impulse, which compelled me to look up the definition- Because there is NO WAY Nolan fits that definition! Seeing that Nolan doesn't match the definition would prove it! No way does he need immediate help! No way!
So I did...I looked it up.
According to Merriam-Webster Dictionary,
self- harm / the act of purposely hurting oneself (as by cutting, biting, or burning the skin) as an emotional coping mechanism
HE FITS THIS DEFINITION TO A "T"!!! HE NEEDS HELP!
NO MORE denial, shame, fear or despair!
IT IS TIME TO START PUTTING THE PIECES BACK TOGETHER.
It is time to stop stalling! Time to take action and seek professional help.
It is time for me to get out of the denial stage and start to focus on new ways to reduce his stress and anxiety. Which form of treatment should I take? Should I schedule a Psych appointment so Nolan can sit down and talk with a professional? I have been against medicating Nolan, but is NOW the right time to start? Medicines can help with behavioral issues.
What should I do? How can I help him?
Whatever treatment path I choose for Nolan,
IT IS TIME TO START PUTTING THE PIECES BACK TOGETHER!
Nolan self-harms as a coping mechanism. He needs help with dealing with his frustration and inability to communicate. It seems like the older and bigger he get, the more violent his self-harm becomes.
NOW is the time to dig deep and get to the root of the issue.
Is he self harming for sensory input? Is he self harming to escape a learning task? Is he self harming because he can't communicate? I have so many questions and I don't know if I will ever get ALL of my questions answered.
I want to unveil the "why" behind these harmful behaviors!
IT IS TIME TO START PUTTING THE PIECES BACK TOGETHER!
I called Nolan's doctor and made an appointment. So this is where we are now...waiting for the appointment date. Waiting...and then more waiting.
Am I scared? Heck yeah! Will he injure himself further as he gets older, bigger, and stronger?
Maybe!
I am terrified, but I look forward to sitting down and talking to a professional about his behaviors. I DO think it will help Nolan. It is a start!
Self-harm is dangerous and scary, especially when a child with Autism can't quite find a way to communicate without an anxious response or reaction. Now is the time to move ahead and get help!
IT IS TIME TO START PUTTING THE TORN PIECES BACK TOGETHER!
Moms, are any of you going through a similar situation with your kiddo? Is your child self-harming?
Do share!
We are in this together!!