Updated: Jan 21, 2019
Oh, the knot can feel so tight. The knot is the struggle, intense fears, anxiety, and angst I feel when I think of my son's future.
All mothers have fears and anxieties about their child's future. What will become of their child? What path will their child take? I have come to the realization that OUR path is going to veer off in a slightly different direction. I have intense fears and anxieties about my son's future. Will he ever drive? Hold down a job? Get married? What if something happens to me? What will that mean for him? People have asked me..."Have you ever pondered the thought of putting your son in a facility?" My reply...""Have you ever pondered the thought of putting YOUR child in a a facility?" NO WAY! I have to push forward...stay focused on the task at hand. My job is to help Nolan thrive...be the best he can be! I pledge to do everything humanly possible to help my son become a functioning member of society. He inspires me to be a better mom each and everyday.
Yes, there are several occasions where that "knot" feels so tight! Then I remember...I can't release the knot by pulling harder!
That is when I turn to my family and friends for that much needed support. It helps extinguish some of those fearful thoughts.
Sometimes I feel strong...fierce! Other times I feel broken.
Being able to put the pieces back together is what makes us autism moms so strong! I will continue to work on releasing the "knot" with the help of friends, family, and other autism moms for guidance and support.