When I decided to write this blog, I promised myself that I would be candid about our lives. This latest blog entry is about as candid as it gets. I am a private person, but I realized that there might be some parents out there raising a child with special needs while experiencing their own physical struggles themselves.
My personal struggle is that I have a neuropathic pain disorder that affects my central and peripheral nervous system. I am not writing this to talk about my health issues; I am sharing our story because I have fears and anxieties about how my restrictions affect Nolan and his progress.
There are so many days when I feel that Nolan is losing out because of my physical restrictions. Does he wonder why his mother has to sit more often than most moms out there? Does he question why his mother is in pain? Am I hindering his progress?
Does he even notice?
When I am not feeling well, I do my best, with the help of my amazing family and friends, to provide him with anything and everything a typical 10 year old boy enjoys doing. I just wonder...is it enough? Is he angry with me because I have to say "no" sometimes when he wants to do something that requires a lot of walking? Is he angry with me because there are days when I can't participate in his ABA therapy sessions?
Does he even notice?
I ask myself these questions quite often. Taking care of a child with special needs has it's own struggles, but adding another component to it can sometimes make things more challenging. Here's the thing, though...
I ENJOY BEING CHALLENGED!!
Although our daily lives may be different than some families out there, WE MAKE IT WORK! I think that is the key...ALL of us do the best we can to MAKE IT WORK.
Yes, dealing with any added struggles can be difficult at times, but I truly believe that it makes you a stronger person. I also believe that it helps you appreciate the good days.
Yes, there are many days I ask myself why or how my personal struggle affects Nolan, but then I see his huge smile on that adorable face and I see the happiness that exudes out of that precious boy. Seeing that ear to ear grin forces me to dig deep and find the strength to keep fighting. That smile is a small expression of tenderness that tells me he knows I love him and I know he is aware that we are doing our best to MAKE IT WORK!